What not wearing makeup for a month has taught me

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source: Pinterest

 

I love makeup. I started wearing eyeliner at 14, and upgraded to eyeliner, foundation and mascara by 19. I then went full blown-full coverage by 21, so my skin hasn’t had a proper break in YEARS. No exaggerations here; makeup was worn to school, work, social outings. etc. I was never seen without it, and eventually it became kind of a shield. This isn’t a sappy post about feeling ugly without it, but I felt like I was living a double life, it became sort of a mask; at times I felt broken and severely depressed and insecure on the inside, but looked “fleeky” and put together on the outside. Don’t get me wrong, I also love how good I became at applying it. I love expressing myself and experimenting with new things, so makeup serves as an outlet in that regard as well. The anxious perfectionist in me however, believed that looks mattered in every situation. It also believed that my dark circles, pimples, blackheads, and hyper-pigmentation were best left for my humble abode.

GIRL. that is no way to live. I wanted to feel unapologetically comfortable with myself, and that started with my weight loss journey and taking fitness a little more seriously.

NOTE: being comfortable with yourself to me means taking good care of yourself physically and mentally, it doesn’t equate to letting yourself go.

Weight loss gave me a boost in confidence, and a few more stretch-marks! dang it. Hey, it just goes to show that stretch marks are not exclusive to weight gain, so I started to appreciate them more. I also started to love my natural hair a little more ( I have been relaxer free for a year now!), and now it is onto my skincare. I stopped wearing makeup to school completely but I will wear it on the weekend when going out or working.

This is what going makeup free has taught me:

  1.  that my pores are thanking me
  2.  I have more time in the morning to prepare for the day
  3. I feel cleaner and more refreshed without it
  4. My skin doesn’t break out as often
  5. Friends and Family thought I looked very tired initially, but then got used to it and eventually praised me for my skin’s overall improvement in appearance
  6. saved some $$$ by not going through my foundation in 3 weeks
  7. water is truly God’s gift to skin
  8. huge confidence booster: stopped feeling anxious about my appearance and what people think.
  9. still got hit on makeup free (not very important but yeah, men are men.)
  10. I don’t look THAT much different without it ( I never wear eyeshadow so my eyelids are usually empty).

In the end, I totally recommend it! Try it out for week. If you feel weird about going completely makeup free, try leaving out the foundation, and just use concealer and some mascara as a starter. I’m no skincare expert, but I’m excited to learn about what works for my skin.

any product recommendations? I’m a combination of oily and dry. My goal is to fade or eliminate my dark spots and acne scars.

 

 

Can you teach people how to treat you?

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This is a topic I have struggled to come to terms with; especially when you are born with the capacity to love and overdo it (and I mean, really overdo it). Can you teach people how to treat you? If you have been treated badly by a friend, family member, lover, crush, is it inherently your fault? Will you always come across people that no matter how good you are to them, fail to treat you the same way? I personally think that you can express your expectations, set your boundaries for how you want to be treated, love yourself to the fullest, but you can’t “teach” someone who doesn’t want to be taught. ¬†You cannot force someone you care about, to show the same level of attentiveness, affection, and effort as you do. I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum and burned my self-esteem through tireless efforts to get people I adore to love and respect me the way I love and respect them.

Self love, is so important, but here are some tips to dealing with people who don’t treat you the way you want to be treated:

  1. Learning to eventually identify, reflect, and communicate the issue helps. You should never feel like you are doing so much with nothing to show for it.
  2. Walking away: having the confidence to tone it down or walk away completely is an option.
  3. Learning that people express love and affection in many different ways: your way of expressing love may not reflect someone else’s manner of expressing love/friendship.

 

What are your thoughts? Is it contextual?