I have finally conquered my fear of putting myself out there via video.
I love blogging/writing but I have always wanted to start a YouTube channel.
So here it is! It is basically an About me Tag 🙂
Let me know what you think!
Like, Comment, Subscribe!
Ok. I cringed a little.
I recently posted this photo ^ on my Instagram feed. I posted it in early February and since then have thought of taking it down. Esther that is way too sexy, too revealing, whose approval are you seeking? You are not a Victoria’s Secret Model. on the flip side, I also had self empowering thoughts like Esther, girl! you look good. You are comfortable in your sensual, Goddess-like being. Yes it is only social media, and yes there are much bigger problems to worry about, but I am on a journey of self love/self empowerment and I find it interesting that I at least, have these opposing and sometimes contradictory thoughts on my sensuality.
As I mentioned in a previous post, most women have to deal with a LOT of pressure to be this non-realistic superwoman; look amazing 24/7, have an amazing career, find an ideal mate before 30 etc. I find that when women are too comfortable in their own skin it is received as a plight for validation from men *rolls eyes*, a severe case of daddy issues, and a lack of self respect. It is always in accordance to men in some shape or form. The funny part is, women partake in this judgement whether we like to admit or not. There are many instances where I had thought wow she must really be insecure if she is comfortable twerking in her thong for the whole world to see instead of, you know what! get it girl! do what you want! I don’t know about everybody else, but for me it is also the outlet of expression that determines these thoughts. If I saw the same girl bellydancing or whining for instance, I would have immediately praised her instead of question her security or lack thereof.
Why is that?
We are so conditioned to think there is something wrong if a woman takes charge of her sensuality. Is it that offensive? Is it that powerful?
What are your thoughts?
The women pictured above are beautiful, fit, financially stable, successful, and Instagram famous. I religiously scroll through their pages to admire their style, Instagram aesthetics, and bodies of steel. At first it was a way for me to hit the gym, however the visual motivation worked…for about a month. The scrolling slowly became obsessive; not of the celebrity-stalker-creep variety, but the “I want to look like her, I wish I had her boobs, butt, thighs, hair, lifestyle, financial freedom…” variety. For most women, this is typical behaviour; society has flooded us with messages to improve this! lose this! eat this! It takes A LOT of work to feel genuinely happy with what we are born with. The advent of social media has amplified this notion to the point where I feel impatient to reach certain goals and milestones. It has amplified the need to look a certain way, and to market and present my social media pages a certain way as well.
I’m 24 and still in school, I work 2 part-time jobs, and I have started to model on the side. These women are in their early to mid twenties and thriving. I obviously don’t have a microscopic view into their personal lives, but by the looks of it, they are living their dreams and passions (and looking damn good while doing so). A close friend had a similar issue; she would follow and almost idolize these social media giants only to feel even more insecure and de-motivated. She ended up unfollowing them and following pages that inspired her personal goals. I still follow these lovely ladies, but have toned down heavily on the comparing and whining. Everyone has their time, mine will come and like the old saying goes-enjoy and learn from your journey.
What are your thoughts on social media insecurities? Do you have any?
So school is out (even if it’s only for a week in my world) ,and I’ve been happily indulging in sleep, food, reading and Netflix. I am currently watching the Office and just finished the season finale of Scandal! Have to catch up on The Walking dead, Game of Thrones, Criminal minds, OITNB etc, etc. I know I know, Why am I so behind?? Well for one, I have a life. *ends blog post*
Just Kidding (but not really).
I am definitely a finish-a-season-in-one-day kind of gal. I’m never up-to-date with TV. I have school, a part time job, and now a few castings on the way! I especially need to catch up on the Game of Thrones; peeps of the internet think it ok to discuss #Hodor #Holdthedoor or the fact that “Sansa is so evil now omg”.
Alright so the Office……IS GENIUS. I constantly find myself hunched over in laughter or tears (I blame Jim and Pam). I’m only on season 6, but it is proving to be one of my favourite shows of all time. YEAH I SAID IT. I may be speaking to soon, but the mixture of well thought out puns/jokes, relatable characters, and the feeling that you are the overzealous camera-man, makes it a feel-good experience.
What are you current faves?
More TV talk later on,
gif source: giphy.com